Joe Biden 2020. I’m Ridin’ With Biden. Biden Harris. Landslidin’ With Biden.
It can be an embarrassment, driving around town. Damn sticker stays stuck.
Here’s help, all do-it-yourself.
First, clear grime from the sticker with a damp cloth. Get packed mud off the “J,” asphalt off the “2020.”
Then you have options.
Paint — A color that doesn’t call attention to itself, since you’ll need to slather it deep over the tell-tale slogan. Simple and quick — if a little messy. Highly recommended for ‘70s VW Beetles.
Heat — A hair dryer may do. A heat gun is better. The idea is to make the sticker pliable. Fit the edge of a credit card under peeling edges, then scrape. Go easy or risk damage to the finish. Note: use an old credit card.
Adhesive remover — Maybe WD-40. Or there’s a product called Goo Gone. But know that there might be a run on inventories. (Eighty-one million people voted for the guy).
New sticker — Just paste it over the old one. “Kamala!!! 2024!!!”
No, on second thought, that last one may not help.
All the work can be done in the privacy of your garage. Still, a die-hard-blue partisan may note something is missing. There could be questions. Have you retreated? Are you inching rightward?
Explain that you’re a car guy (or gal). You’ve been this way since your school years when you waxed and polished that ’56 Buick every Sunday afternoon. You’re no less obsessive these days: excepting election years, even politically correct ardor will blemish a pristine bumper. This will be a good talking point if you’re driving, say, a Tesla Model S. Not so good if you’re hauling kids to soccer practice in a minivan seating seven.
Sorry to interrupt your reading, but check out this cartoon!
You might add that with the sticker you were simply flying the only colors available to you following the 2020 Convention. But on election day you wrote in for…who? Use your imagination. LeBron James? Meryl Streep? There’s nothing wrong with — How might it be put inside the Capital Beltway? — letting the truth evolve.
Then try to move on to a topic that’s not so vexed. Note your environmental virtue if you skipped industrial solvents for removal and used boiling water instead. What’s a skin burn when the planet’s at stake?
A final word about DIY. If it doesn’t work, get your ego out of the way and see a pro. Any body shop can manage this job. Just ignore the guffaws in the service bay.
And be patient — there may be a line.
Richard Koenig is the author of the Kindle Single No Place To Go, an account of efforts to provide toilets in Ghana during a cholera outbreak.