Stew Bolno: Barbeque conversations in the Age of Trump

All of us have come to learn that President Donald Trump is a leader who does BIG THINGS.

As a businessman, he has always been required to develop a vision, to understand the mission that gets him there, and design strategies to achieve his goal. This unique preparation is an explanation as to why he never appears overwhelmed in his elected position as President of the United States.

This year, there is a mid-term election. The talking heads on TV advise us of the importance of November 3rd and its impact on the direction of our country. It’s generally true, since the party that controls the House of Representatives and the Senate will impact the degree to which the president can advance his preferences, policies, and influence. In 2026, it seems more significant than usual because the positions of the political parties are as distinct as any time since the beginning of the Civil War.

Both parties recognize that “Trump is on the ballot”, even though his name won’t appear on the screen in any voting booth. Yet, it’s clear, 47 will be taking an active role in the process. He is not the type to remove himself from battles of significance. 

Perhaps you’re more convinced than ever MAGA is the way, or you’re wavering a bit, because currently, we’re at war with Iran and gas prices are high. Maybe there’s static in your family because your Trumpian leanings cause friction between your spouse, kids, friends, and relatives. 

Don’t worry; help is on the way. Below, I’ve created “Either/Or” options for you. If you’re strong for, or against Trump, it may deepen your commitment. If you’re wavering, the abbreviated checklist will remind you of the alternatives. If you wish deeper engagement with others, this short list might help you communicate the directional distinctions for these current and important issues. Who knows, you may even enable yourself to better understand the other person’s point of view and demonstrate intellectual movement on certain items. 

Each question is presented as a binary choice, to clarify each person’s directional preference. Only pursue further conversation if both parties agree to or desire a deeper and, perhaps, more rational conversation. Within each of the three categories, I’ve listed a similar number of micro-questions. Try to limit your verbal boundaries to that specific topic so the conversation doesn’t spin-off in another direction. 

Domestic issues 

Do you wish to reaffirm the Make America Great Again (Trump) movement… OR “Fundamentally transform the United States of America alternative? (Obama)?

• Should we alter tax strategies to increase federal government growth… OR decrease them? 
• Should we require control and registration of immigrants… OR maintain an open border policy enabling people to enter at will, reside without certification, and vote in elections? 
• Should we demand a federal rule of Voter ID presentation for Federal elections…OR continue the total authority of individual states to determine voter legitimacy? 

International issues 

Do you prefer to re-evaluate and re-imagine 21st-century relationships OR maintain the pre-Trump status quo?

• Should we strive to encourage America to be the “Big Dog”… OR seek to limit our role, existing to be just one of many nations of the world? 
• Should we be guided by international relationships we’ve had in the past… OR update the friendship levels we have with other countries, based upon recent events, the current situational realities, and a vision of the future? This means interacting more with disparate entities such as Asian, European, Israel, South American, and Arab countries. 
• Should we be using American power to make a bigger footprint around the world, as we have in Venezuela and Iran… OR enable dictators to determine the political direction of the countries they rule? 

Issues of Morality

Do you resonate with the concept of “American Exceptionalism” OR do you believe the notion is inaccurate and harmful to children and citizens? 

• Should we refer to the Bible, as our Founding Fathers did, as a source for our laws, social order, and individual behavior…OR encourage citizens to lean towards the Koran or no religious text for guidance? 
• Should we strive to demand equal treatment under the law OR create and implement legal distinctions for race, gender, and sexual preferences? 
• Should our public schools focus upon inculcating children, especially in the early years, with the American credo…OR encourage the application of critical theory? 

The presence of conflict among Americans is a constant throughout our history. That’s part of the gift of our heritage. Perhaps an explanation for current battles is the 24-hour news cycle and the continuous flow of information onto our phones and into our homes. Maybe, it’s the ego-driven ability of individuals to vent their political perspectives to others; simply, immediately, and with wide distribution. 

The questions above are designed to clarify areas and degrees of disparate thinking between individuals. I suspect they will result in mutually exclusive path possibilities for the duo. 

1. The individuals will determine the chasm between them is so wide that deep conversation will be fruitless, argumentative, and hostile. Therefore, they might opt to focus their communications on other subjects, such as sports, pop culture, or the weather.
2. They will deduce that a structured approach, to a chat about politics, is a useful model for engaging in communication where the topics are pre-determined within one category. Optimally, this approach will limit negative emotionalism and displays of interpersonal anger.
3. They will decide that, since neither of them possess any power to change or alter the trajectory of political subject matter, they might opt to focus their communications on the really big subjects such as the origins of the universe, the meaning of life, or how they’re much wiser now than they were as teenagers.

If you attempt the process I’ve stated above, I’d be interested in your feedback. However, we’re talking about political discourse here — I guarantee nothing! 

Stew Bolno is a chronological peer of Donald Trump. He’s been a student, college professor, and consultant on leadership during his 50-year career. He’s followed politics longer than that time. His recent book is “Leadership Lessons And You: From A to Z – featuring Donald Trump” and he’s written scores of essays about him since he descended the Trump Tower staircase. Read more at LeadershipLessonsAndYou.com.